Most families arrive at a session with at least one person who’d rather be anywhere else. Maybe it’s the kids who’ve been in the car too long, or a partner who just isn’t a photo person. Maybe it’s you, standing there wondering if your face is doing the right thing. That feeling is so common, and honestly, it makes complete sense. Being told to “look natural” while someone points a camera at you is not a natural experience. But here’s what I’ve found after working with families across NSW: the awkwardness usually doesn’t last very long, and it rarely shows up in the photos the way people fear it will.
The Session Nobody Felt Ready For
I had a family travel from Sydney for their session. By the time they arrived, the kids were tired from the trip and dad had already made it clear that photos weren’t really his thing. On paper, it could have been a tricky start.
But that’s the thing about sessions like that. The nerves and the tiredness and the “I don’t know what to do with my hands” energy – none of that has to define how the whole thing goes. It just means we slow down a little, we settle in, and we let things find their rhythm.
Posing only works if everyone feels comfortable. If it doesn’t, it looks exactly as forced as it feels. So rather than jumping straight into directing people, I spend time just chatting, getting to know everyone, letting the family feel like themselves in the space before we do anything else.
Why Comfort Comes Before Posing
There’s a reason I don’t arrive with a shot list and a stopwatch. When families feel watched or corrected, they tense up. The smiles get a bit wooden. The kids start performing or resisting. And the images end up looking like… a photoshoot, rather than a family.
What I’m really trying to create is the opposite of that.
When parents aren’t worried about whether they’re standing correctly, and when kids aren’t being asked to hold still and smile on command, something shifts. People start actually talking to each other. A kid climbs on a parent. Someone says something funny. The real stuff starts coming through.
That’s when the best images happen – not in the planned moments, but in the in-between ones.
Practical Things That Actually Help
Here’s what I do in sessions to help families feel more like themselves and less like they’re being observed:
We take our time
There’s no rush. If the kids need a minute to warm up, we give them that minute. If someone needs to walk around and shake off the nerves, that’s fine too. Pressure doesn’t make people look relaxed – time does.
I get to know everyone first
Before we go anywhere near “let’s take some photos,” I’m just talking. To the parents, to the kids, asking about things they actually care about. It sounds simple, but it changes the whole energy of a session. People stop thinking about the camera when they’re thinking about something else.
We play
For younger kids especially, games and movement are everything. When kids are playing, they forget I’m there. And when they forget I’m there, I get the real them – not the version that’s trying to perform for a grown-up with a camera.
Music helps
Sometimes putting on a bit of music in the background is all it takes to soften the atmosphere. It fills the silence and gives people something to move to, even if they’re not conscious of it.
I keep direction gentle and minimal
When I do give direction, it’s simple. I’m not choreographing a shoot. I might ask a parent to walk with their child, or suggest someone sit together, but mostly I’m creating conditions for connection rather than engineering a specific frame.
What This Means for Your Photos
When families stop trying to look like they’re having a great time and just… actually have a decent time, the images reflect that. There’s a softness in them. A realness.
I think about that Sydney family a lot. By the time we finished, everyone had found their footing. The kids had settled, dad had relaxed into it, and what came out of that session wasn’t a series of stiff posed portraits. It was them – actually them.
That’s what I want for every family I photograph across NSW. Not perfection, not performance, just a genuine record of who you are together right now.
The awkwardness you’re worried about bringing to your session? It’s usually gone within the first fifteen minutes. And even if it isn’t, I know how to work with it.
Ready to Feel Like Yourself in Front of the Camera?
If you’ve been putting off booking a family session because you’re worried about how it will go, I’d love to chat. I work with families all across NSW and I genuinely enjoy the ones who show up nervous – because watching that shift is one of my favourite parts of this work.
Get in touch and let’s talk about what a session could look like for your family. You don’t have to have it all together. You just have to show up.
